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You are here: Home / Archives for self care

Why We Shouldn’t Feel Guilty About Self Care

April 10, 2018 | Leave a Comment

Hey lovelies! It has been a while. As many of you may know, Linds and I are full-time university students and maintaining our blog at the end of the semester tends to stretch what we are capable of. But the semester is over (almost for linds), we’re taking some well-deserved time for self-care, and I’ve managed to survive my first surgical experience (wisdom teeth, haha). So we’re back, and we have some awesome content coming up– stay tuned!

In the meantime, I want to talk about some research I did this semester (yeah yeah, sounds boring I know!) about self-care and the psychology behind it. I am studying Social Work, a profession with high rates of burnout, and self-care is preached to us day-in and day-out. I am proud that our school is taking responsibility for encouraging mental and physical wellbeing in its students. For one of my courses this semester, myself and a classmate did some research on self-care and feelings of guilt. 

We all know the feeling: we’ve got so much on our plate that taking time for ourselves seems wasteful, silly, and maybe even undeserved.

The fact of the matter, however, is this: self-care is crucial to our health and wellbeing, not something we should feel guilty about.

So why do we feel guilty for or ashamed of taking time for ourselves?

  1. We tend to set really high expectations for ourselves. Not meeting these goals or crossing everything off our to-do lists can make us feel like we do not deserve self-care or even self-love.
  2. We tend to confuse indulgence with self-care, and this doesn’t have to be the case. Self-care does not have to be luxurious, expensive, or time-consuming. Self-care can be turning off your tech and closing your eyes for five minutes.
  3. We all have very important commitments and responsibilities in our lives– family, work, friends, school, and so on. Taking time for ourselves can feel selfish, evoking feelings of guilt. During times like this, we must remind ourselves that we cannot take good care of someone else until we’ve taken care of ourselves first.

This is not an exhaustive list by any means, but it is a good place to start reflecting on your own life. Self-care induced guilt is toxic for our minds and bodies because it is preventing us from coping with daily events in a healthy manner, increases the likelihood of burnout, and it causes us to lose respect for ourselves. Think of self-care as an act of service to yourself. You’ll be more productive in the long run, your head will feel less full, and you’ll feel more energized overall. Most importantly, you will be fostering self-respect– which means others will respect you too. Your body is there for you through so much, it deserves kindness!

So what can we do to avoid these feelings of self-care induced guilt?

  1. Schedule and prioritize time for self-care. I live for my agenda, so this one works well for me. Mark down a time to do something for yourself, and hold yourself accountable to complete the task.
  2. Learn to say NO and set boundaries. Plain and simple. We do not need to agree to every favour (big or small) that someone asks of us. Only say ‘yes’ to things you know you can handle.
  3. Tell yourself “I’m doing my best and I can’t do it all.” You know this is true, so embrace the mantra.
  4. Cut the multitasking and do one thing at a time, you will feel less overwhelmed overall. Besides, self-care cannot be multitasked (unless it’s watching Netflix while cooking dinner, we’ll let that one slide).
  5. Give back to your community. Volunteering, I’ve learned, is one of the most rewarding things you can do for self-care. Be careful about the type of community work you choose, however, if self-care is your motivation. Not all volunteer work is easy, emotionally or physically. In my experience, gardening and harvesting for the local Autism Society restaurant (a social enterprise) was the best form of self-care.

Retrieved from @frizzkidart on Instagram.

We hope this article inspires you in some way. Have you ever felt guilty about taking time for self-care? How have you remedied these feelings? What is your favorite thing to do for self-care? Let us know in the comments below or on social media (@twowildtides).

Here are some other articles we’ve written that might help you with self-care or through tough times:

  1. 10 Self-Care Tips for Overwhelming Times
  2. 6 Tasks That Will Improve Your Everyday Life
  3. 7 Tips for a Healthy Exam Period
  4. How to Maintain Control During Overwhelming Times
  5. The Monday Morning Checklist
  6. Being Alone Without Being Lonely

xoxo,
char

Filed Under: From the Heart, Swell Thoughts | Tagged With: advice, burnout, emotional wellbeing, from the heart, mental health, personal, personal blog, psychology, research, self care, self care isn't selfish, social work

6 Tasks That Will Improve Your Everyday Life

February 13, 2017 | Leave a Comment

Many of us want to make our daily life more efficient and enjoyable. I have brought together some tasks that help me to accomplish this goal, and I hope they work for you too! Obviously, none of us are the same and we all have different schedules, so what works for some may not work for others. Nonetheless, I encourage everyone to give these tricks a go, because you may find them to be game-changers.

Make your bed. It only takes 2 minutes to fix up your sheets after you jump/roll/crawl out of bed each morning. We can all agree that there is nothing better than coming home to a tidy room, and making your bed makes a space feel instantly neater. Having a tidy space should improve your overall emotional wellbeing.

Meal prep. This seems daunting, but it doesn’t have to be as complicated as you think. Next time you have time to cook yourself a meal, make a double or triple batch and store it in the fridge or freezer for the next time you don’t have time to cook. Or after your next grocery shopping trip, separate fruits and veggies from their original containers into assorted Tupperware to grab out of your fridge for a snack or breakfast on the go.

Wash your face. Establishing a daily skincare routine can add an essential element of self care to your life. Treat yourself to ten minutes (or more!) of skincare each day because you deserve it. Check out our winter skincare routine here.

Eat breakfast. Sorry, because I know this has been preached so much that the words now have little meaning. But there is a reason for that! Even just a small piece of fruit or a granola bar (homemade ones here!) can give you that boost you need to get through the morning until your next meal. Of course, if you can, opt for a heaping bowl of oatmeal or eggs and whole-grain toast. Bye-bye unproductive, moody mornings!

Brew your own coffee (or tea!). You will save money ($50 plus per month!!), have the opportunity to cut out unwanted sugars or dairy products, and save a bunch of time by avoiding the drive-thru. 

Pack your bag the night before. This has been life-changing for me! Have a look at your schedule, see what books, clothing items, snacks, or tech you may need for the next day, toss them in your backpack, and sleep ten minutes later the next morning. This also reduces your chances of forgetting something while you’re rushing to pack your bags in the morning.

We are confident that these tasks will help you to improve your everyday life. Work on incorporating just one of these into your daily or weekly routine, and let us know how it helps (or doesn’t help) make your life more efficient. We love hearing from you! Also let us know if you have any tasks or routines that you find improve your life in general. We want to try them!

Have a great week,
xoxo, char&linds

Filed Under: From the Heart, Swell Thoughts | Tagged With: advice, efficiency, from the heart, meal prep, minimalism, personal, self care, self love

How to Maintain Control During Overwhelming Times

October 28, 2016 | Leave a Comment

This is the time of year when sh*t starts to pile up. Term papers, midterms, finals, volunteer commitments, work commitments, and personal care commitments. Deadlines and responsibilities. These things can make life feel crazed and overwhelming, and we all feel this way at some point, but there are a few things you can do to make life a little easier.

Processed with VSCO with m3 preset

First things first: prioritize! In your planner, agenda, bullet journal, or a smartphone app, make a list of everything you have to do this week (I mean every last detail!). Then, in another list, organize your weekly list into days by putting each item from the weekly list into the day of the week in which you have to accomplish this task.

***If you have a paper due on Wednesday, do not write that you have to do the paper on Wednesday. Clearly mark that Wednesday is the due date, but allow yourself time on Sunday or Monday to actually write that paper.

Secondly, eliminate anything from your schedule that is not crucial. When you are overwhelmed because you want to maintain your GPA, yet you have 4 exams and 2 papers and 1 presentation, and you have to work, maybe that lunch date with your bestie can wait. They will understand, just reschedule.

If you have to eliminate things from your schedule, you must also learn to say “no”. This is one that I struggle with personally. If you have a million and one things to do for school or work this week, and your boss at your volunteer gig asks you to help out for an extra hour, or your friend asks if you can tutor her, or your parents’ friend asks you to babysit, you can say “no”.

By declining when someone asks you a favor, you are not being rude, or mean, or a bad person- sometimes you have to put yourself first. Politely tell the person you cannot do it this week, but you will make it up to them another time (or don’t! You don’t owe anyone anything).

Finally, just breathe. Nothing is more important than your mental health. Take care of yourself first, and don’t take on too many responsibilities. When you prioritize, put your health first by scheduling time for breakfast, a shower, or a nap. When you feel good, everything else will come naturally.

We hope these few tips come in handy and help you to accomplish your goals. How do you manage your time? What are your best tips for staying in control of your busy schedule? We love your feedback!

Filed Under: From the Heart, Swell Thoughts | Tagged With: advice, control, from the heart, in control, mental health, personal, priorities, schedule, self care

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